I remember those precious moments I had with my beautiful son Adam. When I heard at the hospital that I was pregnant with him my husband and I were so happy. I actually cried with joy. The worst moment was when I was suffering from severe nausea and those strong food cravings. Like people say 'Its all part of pregnancy so enjoy it as much as you can' My husband and I were so excited that we told our family straight away. I know they say to wait until after 12 weeks because of danger zone but we couldnt hold it in and wanted to tell our family that a new baby is coming into the family. The whole family were thrilled and were already buying baby clothes and thinking about baby names. The best day was when we went to our first anaetal appointment for a check up at the hospital. I had a scan that day and we saw our little boy. He was so beautiful. He was moving his little hands and kicking slightly. My husband and I was so keen to know if we got a girl or boy but it was too early to find out as I was only 9 weeks. I remember going to our 13 week checkup where I had another chance to see Adam again. This time we saw his little heart beating. That was a wonderful moment seeing my sons heart beat. We were so happy that we asked the midwife to print of the photos so we could see our son on the scan picture. We showed the whole family the photos. They were so happy to see the him. They used to say 'The baby looks just like the father' My husband and I were ever so happy until the day we went to check on our son again at 18 weeks. They were checking our sons heart beat on the doppler machine and they couldnt hear the heartbeat. They thought the machine was playing up so they offered me to have a scan instead. When we saw our beautiful baby on the scan they noticed there was no heart beat and we saw him lifeless inside. When they told us in their own words 'Im sorry to say this but your baby has no heart beat' you automatically know that your beautiful baby died and the sadness starts. That was the worst day ever in our life and we still remember that day. After I had to see the doctors who told me what was going to happen next. They told me as the baby is older than 10 weeks I need to be induced to get the baby out. I agreed to it and they gave me tablets to take to start the process of induction. That day we went home and told the family the bad news. Everyone was shocked, sad and disappointed. We all didnt get a chance to know if we had a boy or girl. 2 days later I had to go in to hospital to be induced. That day was the worst in my life. They gave me a tablet which helped my body go into labour. I was in labour for 3-4 hours and gave birth to my beautiful son Adam at 4pm. I remember my husband eager to find out if we had a boy or girl. The midwife told us that we had a boy. Our heart just tore in pieces when we were told that we had a boy. We both couldnt believe that we lost such a beautiful baby. He was so beautiful when he was lying there looking so peaceful. My husbands mum was right though he does look just like his father. That day the rest of the family came in and saw Adam. They were so unhappy when they saw him. That night when I stayed at hospital for recovery I couldnt do anything apart from crying and crying. I couldnt even sleep. Adam was too much on my mind. The next day I went back home and there was complete silence with the whole family. Weeks later we had a phone call from the hospital asking us if we wanted to get rid of our sons remains left from the hospital. We asked the hospital to do it instead, as we were grieving. After a bit of counselling we felt better. But it doesnt stop us thinking of our beautiful son. There are some days that im happy and there are some days that I grieve over Adam still. Its been two years now and September coming up he would be 2 years old if he was here. Every year we write a special prayer for him and buy him a little gift in a treasury box for a memory of our son. Along with our scan photos of him. Time has moved on now and we now have a beautiful baby girl who is now 2 months old called Maryam ling. She looks a bit like her brother, which makes it hard for me not to forget my son. There are so many days when my husband and I think about Adam. My husband always says that if Adam was here he could teach him football and that his uncle could teach him martial arts. Adam will never be forgotten in anyones life espeically ours. He will always be loved and remembered. Just a message for our son 'Adam daddy and mummy and sister love you so much and you will always be remembered in our lives every year. You will never be forgetten and will always be in our hearts forever and ever. Hope you are happy and safe in paradise and we will all see you up there when the time is right.